Abby: I knew you were a damn yokel the minute I met you. Ketchup? On a Quiche? Why don't you just set my eggy creation on fire while you're at it.
Roommate: I'm sorry, I just-
Abby: No buts. Stop besmirching my kitchen with your ignorance.
Roommate exits, head cast down in shame and un-sated hunger.
Abby faces audiences and SINGS
SONG: It's Never Over-Easy To Be Me