Sunday, June 28, 2009

Friday, May 29, 2009

More ideas for La Dabberina

Should she have some kind of magical kitchen appliance? I'm thinking a battery-powered whisk or mixer of some kind. That can blend someone's FACE. Or is that too extreme for the stage?

Monday, April 20, 2009

Dabberina's superhero outfit

I say a super-retro outfit. Instead of a utility belt, an apron with various pockets and loops for knives, etc.

And the serial killer idea is not bad- perhaps Dabberina is driven mad by an overabundance of processed foods, and goes on some kind of rampage...

Ooh! Ooh! Driven mad by the public's increasing reliance on eating out instead of cooking for themselves, Dabberina renounces the cooking life and withdraws into a life of solitude. That can be the Act I finale. And then during Act II Dabberina's henchman, Pressure Cooker, has to convince her that hger skills are too valuable to waste!

And these Keebler Elves- are they the main villain, or just a side gang? Who is the BIg Cheese of the culinary criminal underworld?

TIred Of Playing By Myself

Okay, girls and mom. Time for a little input. If left to my own devices, I'm afraid La Dabberina may end up as a serial killer. You folks need to chip in.
Some things to think about:
La Dabberina as a super hero.
Her costume? (I think it has to have the glasses on/glasses off ala Superman/Clark Kent.
Her utility belt contains?
Her ride: I see a Vespa scooter. It has that fat back end that can hide all sorts of stuff.
Super powers? (she knows the exact weight of a 'dash'?

Next couple of scenes

After the sous chef finishes "Dabberina," he walks to the end of the counter and pulls on a string of garlic bulbs. The bottom one begins to glow.
Back at Abby's apartment, a tea kettle begins to whistle. On a cabinet door directly above, the glass steams up. A message appears.
"Help needed at Emeril's Trattoria."
Abby comes into the room, and reads the message.
ABBY: That's the third time this week! The guy should buy a cookbook.
Abby walks to the espresso machine, pushes a button on the side, then pulls first the left lever, then the right. Nothing happens. She repeats the sequence. Again, nothing happens.
ABBY: Damned technology!
There is a door immediately to the left. She opens it, and walks in. Lights on the espresso machine glow, and the door closes.

Emeril's Trattoria: A knock on the back door. Sous chef answers, and in comes La Dabberina.
DABBERINA: Good evening, all. What is it this time?
SOUS CHEF: Good evening. I'll let Emeril explain.
EMERIL: Thanks for coming, La Dabberina. I'm having a problem with my Potage Marocaine.
DABBERINA: And what exactly is that?
EMERIL: It's basically a squash soup, with a dash of ras et hanout
DABBERINA: And the reason you can't just call it 'squash soup' is . . .?
EMERIL: Well, I can charge three times as much if I give it a french name.
DABBERINA: Jeez. Freakin' faux cajuns. Okay, let's have a taste.
Dabberina walks to the stove, and takes a spoonful of the soup out of the pot.
DABBERINA: Wow. You keep trying to sell this stuff at 12 dollars a bowl this place will be a Starbucks before you know it.
EMERIL: I know, I know. Can you help me?
(Song: "With a Little Bit?) Lyrics to follow
DABBERINA: Try spending more time in the kitchen and less time on TV. You might remember some of this stuff.
EMERIL: I know. I'm from Jersey. Showing off is what we do. But I'll do what you say.
DABBERINA: Thank you. I have homework . . . I mean I have other people to help besides you.
SOUS CHEF: Once again, thank you, La Dabberina. I can't teach that man a stinking thing.
DABBERINA: I know. The Food Network has driven many good cooks insane. Just look at Paula Dean. Last week she was wrapping macaroni and cheese in bacon, then deep frying it. I just had to kill her. Such a waste.
SOUS CHEF: Can't you just kill Emeril?
DABBERINA: Well, no. But let me know if he starts using a lot of catsup. We'll work something out. I'm off.
Dabberina exits through the door.

Light comes up on Dabberina standing on the street, astride her scooter. The garlic press on her utility belt begins to beep.
She opens it, revealing a communications device. A voice speaks?
DABBERINA: La Dabberina here. What's up, chief?
CHIEF: Bad news, La Dabberina. It's happened again.
DABBERINA: What's happened again?
CHIEF: The Keebler Elves. They've robbed another liquor store.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Lyrics to Dabberina

I have dreamed you so long
Never seen you or touched you
But read all your recipe books.
Here a whisk, there a stir
You have guided my hand down the
Path that my food career took.

Dabberina . . . Dabberina . . .
I see Michelin stars when I see you, Dabberina
And your name is like a prayer
A sous chef whispers . . .
Dabberina . . . Dabberina!

If I reach out to you,
Will you help fix this terrible
Slop that my chef calls his stew.
What it needs, I don’t know
Only that it will take someone
Special, that someone is you.

Dabberina . . . Dabberina . . ..
We beseech you, beg you
Plead you, Dabberina

My fingers not so fast

I can't work on this new musical today because I'm getting ready for a reading with TROUT tonight of P's and Q's! Much fun will be had by all and I'll work on the first two scenes tomorrow!

It's Not Easy Being Green

Act 1, Scene 2

The lights fade on Abby washing dishes, singing "It's Not Over Easy Being Me".
Switch to a restaurant somewhere, two men looking disgustedly at a pot on a stove. They are a head chef and his assistant.
Chef: I am at a loss. I don't know what's wrong with this soup.
Assistant: Nor do I, sir.
Chef: I've made this a thousand times, and it's turned out perfectly.
Assistant: I know, I know. But for it to fail tonight . . .
Chef: Don't tell me, you imbecile! I know the mayor is coming tonight.
Assistant: What can I do? What can we do?
Chef: There is only one answer. We must summon La Dabberina
Assistant breaks into song, Dabberina (to the tune of Dulcinea)

Okay, Mom, Your Turn

I held a meeting of everyone involved in the project who lives in my apartment, and we voted you extra duties: you're now script supervisor, in addition to director.
I think we have a good outline of Act 1, Scene 1. You can put it into play-form.

Scene I, continued

Abby: I knew you were a damn yokel the minute I met you. Ketchup? On a Quiche? Why don't you just set my eggy creation on fire while you're at it.
Roommate: I'm sorry, I just-
Abby: No buts. Stop besmirching my kitchen with your ignorance.
Roommate exits, head cast down in shame and un-sated hunger.
Abby faces audiences and SINGS

SONG: It's Never Over-Easy To Be Me

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Finally, Some Action

Okay: thanks to mom, first minor change, first line of first song:
Quiche instead of omelettes.
If you want to continue to work on song, here's a cheat:
Or continue the play.
Welcome leetle sister

Okay, Dammit, I'll Start

Act One, Scene One
The curtain rises on a female college student, Abby, dressed in sweats, working at a stove in the kitchen. Her roommate enters, stage left, and sits down at a small table in the kitchen.
Roommate: Good morning, what's for breakfast?
Abby: I'm making my special quiche (she places a plate in front of the roommate, and turns back to the stove)
Roommate: Excellent! Got any ketchup?
Abby stops abruptly, turns to face her roommate, her eyes cold as ice, and says . . .


While it is true that it takes minimal brains to make a TV show (see "Someone's Gotta Go," an actual reality show about people getting fired that aren't working for Donald Trump) I think since ours is such a delicate and intelligent concept that we should really take that extra step to make it great. And that extra step is musical numbers. So, basically we're back to the "musical cookbook" idea.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

On the other hand . . .

. . . doing a TV show would be a lot easier, since we wouldn't have to use our brains

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Too Soon For TV, But . . .

While I like the idea of creating the central character first, I'm not crazy about going straight to television. What's next? 3-D glasses? Remember the Jonas Brothers.
Let's get ideas on the central character.
Who is she?
A glasses-wearing college student whose secret identity involves her taking off her glasses?
Does she work for an organization, or is she just running around telling people what they should be doing with no regard to their own feelings (aka, is she Republican)?
We'll let some production company do the tv show after the play and/or movie is a huge smash. All we'll have to do is cash the royalty checks.
Clare, J2, where are you?

La Dabberina vs. the Hamburger-lers

if we're going to have a TV show, there HAS to be some sort of crime drama sub plot. underneath la dabberina's cooking finesse lies a committed secret agent (CIA, FBI, NCIS, TART (Those Against Rancid Taste)) dedicating herself to fighting crime and bad food: one cheesy strip-mall-chain restaurant at a time!


We can use Saffi whenever we need a "squirt" of somethng

Who will play Julia C?

When we turn the thing into a television cooking show, I just want you all to know that Saffi does a mean Julia Child imitation!

Monday, April 6, 2009

First Thoughts On Recipes

    • Okrahoma
    • Quiche of the Spider Woman

    • HMS Pinto Bean

    • Pirogi of Penzance

    • Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Croqet

    • Annie Get Your Gnocchi

    • A Tureen Grows In Brooklyn

    • How To Succeed In Burritos Without Really Trying

    • Finian’s Rainbow Trout

    • Kiss Me Kabobs

    • Bring In ‘Da Noise, Bring In ‘Da Funghi

    • Man of Langouste