Act One, Scene One
The curtain rises on a female college student, Abby, dressed in sweats, working at a stove in the kitchen. Her roommate enters, stage left, and sits down at a small table in the kitchen.
Roommate: Good morning, what's for breakfast?
Abby: I'm making my special quiche (she places a plate in front of the roommate, and turns back to the stove)
Roommate: Excellent! Got any ketchup?
Abby stops abruptly, turns to face her roommate, her eyes cold as ice, and says . . .
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and says.... Of COURSE I HAVE KETCHUP! Have you ever known me to be without ketchup or chocolate syrup? Ever?
ReplyDeleteShe starts to sing...
A QUICHE A NICOISE MAY BE QUITE CONTINENTAL
BUT KETCHUP IS A GIRLS' BEST FRIEND.
and says "how dare you even think of putting ketchup on my omelette. My omelettes are a work of art and it would be a sacrilege to put ketchup on it!" She starts to sing...
ReplyDeleteOmelettes. Omelettes. I know it sounds a bit bizarre. But with Omelettes, Omelettes, using ketchup would be bizarre.
I was thinking she could use her xray vision to melt her roommate's head, but it's hard to square that with her using her powers for good. It's a guy thing, I guess.
ReplyDeleteI did have her bursting into song, though:
I want to teach you a thing or two
About the things ketchup does to you,
It really is a disgusting goo
Ketchup reminds me of doggie poo
(ala "I like to live in America", from West Side Story
Actually, as I refill my crack pipe, I can see a west-side-story-like gang figut between a bunch of ketchup bottles and a bunch of, say, jars of pesto.
ReplyDelete